wilderness...thoughts

24 hours in a van. Through 6 states, surviving 1 warning from a Kansas state trooper named JC Smith and NOT surviving another from a local Colorado officer named “Bowman”, 7 DB high school guys, Scottie and myself headed for Wilderness Ranch. We were on a road trip, just us dudes, headed to the Rockies. John Denver and every country music song that you could fit into a 24 hour drive poured from the speakers as we sang our hearts out on the road. Van rides are always interesting, you learn so much about a person that’s nestled up in your personal space for that long. It was a pleasure to spend it with our high school friends. We talked about our families, our girlfriends/ wives, our days in high school; heck, we even got into a discussion about the definition of true FAITH. Several of us had watched the movie “Lonesome Dove” before leaving, so we aptly named our van (after a horse) and our GPS (after a woman) in the movie (you’ll have to watch the movie for the name).

24 hours in a van. Oh, the smell. Don’t even try to imagine. It was glorious! We stepped out into the fresh, cool, thin, Colorado air and immediately began packing our packs for the trip. The guys were excited, nervous a little, not knowing what to expect, but excited nonetheless. We were about to spend the next 6 days out in the wilderness. No shower, no toilet paper, no change of clothes, no ipod, no cell phones, no distractions, no noise. We were about to experience God in the glory of His creation! A typical day consisted of waking up with frost on the ground, eating breakfast, breaking down camp, packing your 50+lb. pack, walking in the sunshine in shorts and a t-shirt until lunch, sharing life stories over some pizza bagels, “meat and cheese”, apples, etc, packing up, walking in the rain/snow for a little while, arriving at camp around 4 or 5pm, setting up camp, having quiet time, eating dinner and looking at the stars or going to sleep.
The great thing about each day is that relationship was not only central but vital to survival. We each carried food for the week, we helped each other when we fell, we talked about life and sometimes we were all silent…COMPLETELY silent.

God was not only revealing Himself in our surroundings, but in the way we served each other. When one got sick, we stopped and helped lighten his load. When one couldn’t bear the weight of the pack any more, all of us took some of the burden on our backs. When Scottie got very ill on Tuesday and had to be evacuated, Jesus showed up in my high school friends. They all got up at 4:45 AM and hugged and said their goodbyes to Scottie. To me, it was a picture, a picture of Jesus’ love for each one of us. He who was without sin BECAME sin on our behalf. My high school friends, who I have had the privilege to know and become friends with over the past 4 years, were living a picture of Jesus!

One of the most beautiful things in the world is to watch God reveal Himself to people in ways they can understand. So God shows up in the Rockies. God shows up in the lives of high school students loving on their leader. God shows up in Scripture in such a way that, when explained, a student looks into your eyes and says, “That makes sense, NOW I get it!” It’s why we do what we do at Young Life. It’s why we pray and plan and show up in the lives of our friends.

so...i met a new friend today

as most of you know, i try to regularly visit the high school to hang out with students, meet new ones and just generally be seen. as of late i've been really struggling with going...partly because of time doing other, more "important" things like, writing a sermon for "big church"... or, planning a retreat...or, keeping track of finances for camp...or, having endless meetings about stuff i don't need to be involved in but because i haven't quite learned how to say 'no' yet always find myself in the middle of...(try reading that sentence with one breath).

anyway, today, just like every other Wednesday the past few weeks, there was this battle going on inside my head between what i know to be important and what i've let myself be fooled into thinking is important. Namely, going to the cafeteria and risk the rejection of high schoolers having a bad day. (just as a side note...i still haven't figured out why being thirty in the cafeteria is not much different than being sixteen in the cafeteria, still feel inferior, still feel awkward, still feel like everybody is looking at your zits, still checking your fly 100 times just to make sure, etc)

rewind to two days earlier. A high school dude I know was driving around town with a girl who was new at school and decided to stop by the office and introduce her...she came in, we shook hands, i asked her her name, she told me, and that was it...

fast forward to today. I'm sitting in my car outside the cafeteria, praying to God that when I walk in that place, students would see, feel, and experience Jesus in their midst. That through a smile or handshake or remembrance of a name, the Holy Spirit would spring up in them a recognition of something new and different and more intriguing than anything they've ever experienced before, and the God would use that to reveal Himself to them...

so, careful to perform the usual zit check in the rearview mirror, i walk in the cafeteria of about 500 students...in the next 90 minutes, i will be facing over 2000 students...i am certainly careful to check my zipper one last time...

this is how God works, in the midst of 2000 students, i see her, its the new girl, the one who i just met two days earlier for 30 seconds...she walked right by me...as she passed something inside me reached out and stretched out my arm and tapped her on the shoulder...she turned...I smiled...she smiled back...I said, "hi, it's good to see you"...

What she said I will never forget...no student in my 4 years of going to the high school has ever said what she said, but somehow, it's what every single one of them is screaming on the inside...

She said, "You noticed me."

it's been a while

just a quick something on what I have been thinking on for the past few months...I can't remember what got me started, but I have recently gotten the fever to thru- hike the appalachian trail. i know, it's crazy, but i think it should be done...by me...before I am two old or sick or dead to do it...anyway...her is a new picture i took from the top of Cedar Mountain on Christmas Eve...its probably the coolest picture this idiot has ever snapped...

also, randomly....saw the movie "I Am Legend" and loved it! it's freaky and I spent roughly 3/4 of the movie fighting off a heart attack but the redemptive qualities shown are worth seeing and talking about...

road trip '07

this past summer my dad, my father-in-law and I went on a road trip...here are my journal entries for those three days. and pictures. not that you care:

July 26, 2007

let me first say how thankful I am to God that I have a father AND a father-in-law. and they like each other. i imagine this trip will be treasured in all of our hearts. the day began with coffee at our house. the destination: Bedford, VA and the National D-Day monument. conversation included Tennessee's upcoming football season, the lack of appreciation & knowledge of American history by the younger generations (i hope and pray Jack learns to appreciate his heritage and the sacrifice made for him to be free, both in America and spiritually) stories were told of the father's fathers history in growing up and their involvement in WWII.

next stop: Lexington,Va. Lee chapel, Lee residence at Washington and Lee, Marshall museum on VMI campus, Jackson residence, Jackson gravesite.

the tour at the Jackson home was excellent. the lady guiding us was very good and very dedicated to her post, which was probably a volunteer position. she was older and it was fun to watch her dedication to the details of her job. She faded the lights as the movie began at the beginning of the tour and waited until the credits were over before carefully fading the lights back up and continuing on with the tour. you just don't see that much anymore.

Jackson home: Jackson began every day in prayer, a brisk walk, THEN returned at 7am for family prayer and breakfast. he had a digestive problem and thought being upright helped so he studied his classroom lectures standing up. he sat in a chair facing the wall and recited his lectures to his wife until he had them word for word. self discipline was this guy's forte: spiritual, mental, physical.

After checking into our hotel, we pulled the cooler out by the pool and talked until dinner. topics included the mystery of the female mind and crazy stories from our own histories. then it was to Applebee's for dinner. We sat at the bar (like all Christ followers should) there we met, not a "woman at the well", but a man. in conversation I believe God was glorified. relationship was central. it's fun to watch your heroes engage someone with no pretense, no judgements, but with a genuine desire to just be themselves and get to know and love their neighbor...buy him a beer, hunker down and do life with the people that come to the "well". to be continued...

birthdays, my wife, and the love of God...

birthdays are good. my wife is great. Lensey and my mom managed to co-plan a surprise 30th birthday party for me while nine months pregnant. she even lied to my face and led me to believe that we were going to the captains table on watauga lake to eat dinner. we walked in my parents house to "drop the kids off"...literally (not poop) and there were most of my favorite people in the whole world. and we laughed and ate chicken wings and told stories and laughed some more. somehow when stories are told of me, almost 94% percent of them involve nudity on my part. i like to think it's someone else's idea to get naked, but when the story is told out loud, it sure sounds like someone else came up with a great idea to do some spontaneous random thing, but it's always me who has to add, "you know what would be even better....if we did it NAKED!"

anyway, it was good times. but the interesting thing is that for the past month or so, i've felt very lonely, alone, by myself. no friends, no family, no God, nobody. but then Jack came, and my phone didn't stop ringing for a week because people called to check on us, and people from church signed up for three weeks to bring us dinner, and my friend Josh wrote me from Orphan Helpers with an encouraging note, and I had a birthday, and people showed up at a party and had stoies to tell on me, and my friend Ryan said he hopes that we are friends for a long time, and one of my former students thanked me for investing in his life, and liz and curtis post-it noted my car (see picture), and chris gave me a card that played the Bewitched theme song and read, "your magic makes me tingle".

And so God showed up in all these ways and finally I had no choice but to realize that it is not God that goes somewhere, but me who walks away. and the passage that says, "as for me, the nearness of God is my good" started to make sense. because life sucks when we walk away from God like we have it all together and we don't need anybody. but I ask myself "why?" why do i walk away? i walk away without even knowing it. i start feeling like crap and still don't recognize the fact that i have turned a cold shoulder to the nearness of God. i sure wish i could trust only in that passage, I guess i'll just have to keep saying it over and over in my head.

friends...

you know, i'm sitting here nestled up against my screen door so I can steal my neighbors wireless, and that little lump camp up in my throat as I thought about my friends. Over the past several years, my "friendships" have changed drastically. I've lost friends to heaven and to circumstances. I got married and a new season began for me so I felt like I was losing my unmarried friends, bert passed away, other relationships that were strong faded for one reason or another, ministry only leaves so many minutes in a day to continue relationships.

But today I rejoice in the friendships I have, new and old that, even in the past few months, have sprouted new leaves and are gathering water to strengthen again. Richie and I have been talking more, Pat too. Chris as my office mate. that dude challenges me and I like it. and the monday night basketball dudes have been a real blessing and treat. todd bell is good. John Fooshee, who has probably been THE most influential person in my life the past five years, is around more...at cracker barrell and panera anyway.

So, if you read this, thank you from the bottom of my heart, i'll tell you to your face, but we're dudes and it might get mushy. Thanks.

more on jack..and a sermon quote

Here are a few more pics of jack's first week of life. He is very pleasant (so far) and we all love having him around. He is already cracking us up with his faces. It's pretty special having a son. Laynie is doing well but has some jealous moments. She and I have been spending alot of time together because of obvious reasons. I think she's ready to have her mommy back. Before all this happened, I was worried how I would love another as much as I love Laynie. It is truly God breathed. I felt full of love with Laynie, like I had nothing else to give. There is no doubt God gives you what you need: patience, endurance, comfort, love, energy, etc. There is no stinking way we could do this without His guiding arms wrapped around us.

"Yes, my sister's lips are permanently attached to my face. It's a little annoying."

Jack w/ his Uncle Dick

Chris walked straight in and started teaching Jack how to sing.

One last thing and I'll shut up: This week we opened a series on I Peter. It is written to believers that were scattered all over asia minor in hopes of encouraging them to "live by faith in a world of un-faith." The idea is this, decide that you are going to put all your eggs in the Jesus basket...ALL THE TIME. Who said that, Bobby said that...

ladies and gentleman, my son....

today has been a day. Jack Matthew Richardson has entered the world and when he came out, it looked alot like Laynie. I can't write alot now. It's 10pm and I'm sitting outside Panera Bread blogging. But I thought I would post some pics for you.

Without a doubt the most amazing sights these eyes have ever seen.